Rick Lent raised a great question about the challenges we face in facilitating meetings. I think it's not enough to set ground rules/norms. I like to ask a group: How will you/we hold each other to these norms? What I'm aiming for is shared leadership and shared facilitation, to build their capacity to monitor themselves - and I love it when someone else makes a process comment, like "I don't think we're clear about how this decision is going to be made", or whatever.
There are surely other factors that influence whether or not we/ participants, wish to follow the norms - such as, "Am I on board with the purpose of this meeting?" "Do I trust the leader or the group?" "Do I believe that people will carry out the decisions that are made?" As facilitators, we need to address these questions as well, to make this transparent to the group. These are usually unstated thoughts, and part of our gift is to surface the unstated and the undiscussables!
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
We are the answer!
“Remember, all the answers you need are inside of you; you only have to become quiet enough to hear them.” Debbie Ford. Thanks to Elaine Starling for posting this.
You know how interesting it is when something you say as the professor has a great impact on your students - something said casually or as an aside? In my course on Organizational Change a student asked me a question about "how do you know", like, how do you know you're choosing the right thing? The context wasn't critical for this purpose.
I remember saying, "I used to think that the answer resided in other people, so I used to ask them "What would you do?" until I figured out that they didn't have "the answer" that would be right for me; I had to find the answer inside myself." - and that statement hit the spot for some of the students.
What I forgot to tell them is that it's a lesson that I need to keep re-learning!
You know how interesting it is when something you say as the professor has a great impact on your students - something said casually or as an aside? In my course on Organizational Change a student asked me a question about "how do you know", like, how do you know you're choosing the right thing? The context wasn't critical for this purpose.
I remember saying, "I used to think that the answer resided in other people, so I used to ask them "What would you do?" until I figured out that they didn't have "the answer" that would be right for me; I had to find the answer inside myself." - and that statement hit the spot for some of the students.
What I forgot to tell them is that it's a lesson that I need to keep re-learning!
How Can I Help You?
Has this ever happened to you? A peer asks you for advice or suggestions, and when you respond, s/he gets upset that you didn’t deliver what they were asking for. Darn! Is it me or is it them? My new learning is that it’s on me.
I have a colleague who, every time I ask for assistance to think through a problem, stops me before I get very far to ask: What is it that you’d like from me? What are you asking me for? Aha! That’s what I need to remember to ask. And, for example: Are you asking me to brainstorm solutions, or not? Are you asking for my opinion?
OK, anyone want to help me test this?!
I have a colleague who, every time I ask for assistance to think through a problem, stops me before I get very far to ask: What is it that you’d like from me? What are you asking me for? Aha! That’s what I need to remember to ask. And, for example: Are you asking me to brainstorm solutions, or not? Are you asking for my opinion?
OK, anyone want to help me test this?!
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